


The Meme Team™

by Kili_Deadpool



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Fluff, Group chat, Multi, excessive use of emojis, non binary lafayette
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 09:38:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6849223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kili_Deadpool/pseuds/Kili_Deadpool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex makes a group chat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Meme Team™ Begins

**Author's Note:**

> I've read a lot of fics where they have a group chat and I love them so I figured I'd make my own. fair warning Alex uses a lot of emojis it's unholy
> 
> if you guys see any mistakes let me know! i'll probably finish bolding this at some point

**AlexanderHam_ added LAFAYETTE and three others to the group.**  
**AlexanderHam_:** i brought you all here today to talk about gay stuff  
**mulligan:** can we change our names I hate this  
**AlexanderHam_ changed their display name to alex.**  
**LAFAYETTE changed their display name to Laf.**  
**mulligan changed their display name to herc.**  
**JohnLaurensInThePlaceToBe** **changed their name to john.**  
**alex:** why is your user so long ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶  
**Laf:** ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶  
**herc:** ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶  
**john:** stop bullying me omg  
**alex:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**Laf:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**herc:** okay can we stop this  
**alex:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**Laf:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**john left the group.**  
**herc added john to the group.**  
**Laf:** stop leaving the group as a joke that's my thing  
**herc:** ^  
**alex:** or we could all stop leaving the group as a joke in general ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**john:** ill leave again if u don't stop using emojis  
**herc:** all he does is use emojis that would literally kill the gc  
**Laf:** ^  
**john:** smh fine  
**alex:** ♪(┌・。・)┌  
**john:** don't push it hamilton  
**herc:** please  
**Laf:** wake me up  
**herc:** wake me up inside  
**Laf:** can't wake up  
**herc:** wake me up inside  
**alex:** SAVE ME  
**john:** save me  
**alex:** I said it first B)  
**john:** save ME  
**alex:** speaking of bring me to life have you seen the awful cover of it by bev and bob  
**Laf:** . no  
**alex:** RHRTHRJ  
**alex:** https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EsBC-vF0ZeU  
**Laf:** MON DIEU!  
**john:** oh  
**herc:** I  
**alex:** wait there's another one  
**alex:** https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tOsck7jYUsE  
**herc:** WHERE ARE YOU FINDING THESE  
**alex:** I love a good meme  
**Laf changed the group name to: the meme team™**  
**john:** great  
**alex:** I love this  
**Laf:** I love you  
**alex:** ლ(´◉❥◉｀ლ)  
**Laf:** (´ ▽｀).。ｏ♡  
**herc:** (╥_╥)  
**john:** please let me die God  
**alex:** I'm sorry baybie  
**herc:** I'm not  
**Laf:** me neither  
**john:** I see where I stand in this relationship  
**alex:** at the top (‘∀’●)♡  
**laf:** I mean he is a top  
**alex:** that's not what I meant at all  
**Laf:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**john:** GOD DAMMIT ALEX YOUVE GOT THEM ALL DOING THIS SHIT  
**alex:** IM SORRY  
**alex:** (இ﹏இ`｡)  
**john:** please no  
**herc:** can we continue a real conversation please  
**john:** yeah why'd you make this  
**alex:** cause I wanted to talk to you guys  
**Laf:** about wha  
**Laf:** what*  
**alex:** does there have to be a reason  
**john:** no but there always is with you  
**alex:** I just missed you guys  
(இ﹏இ`｡)  
**john:** I missed you too and I'm gonna choose to ignore that  
**herc:** alex is such a babie  
**Laf:** I stan alex  
**john:** let's make an alex fan club  
**alex:** (๑•́ ω •̀๑)  
**Laf:** look at that  
**herc:** cute emoji  
**alex:** ⊹⋛⋋( ՞ਊ ՞)⋌⋚⊹  
**herc:** dam what that mouth do  
**alex:** does that do anything for u  
**Laf:** what is that  
**john:** is that a bird  
**alex:** yes  
**john:** wow  
**Laf:** impressive  
**herc:** we should go on a date  
**john:** you know what just came out  
**herc:** what  
**john:** civil war  
**herc:**  
**Laf:**  
**alex:** I wanna go  
**herc:**  
**Laf:** smh I'll go too but I never understand you Americans and your superhero movies  
**john:** didn't they play them in France  
**Laf:** that is IRRELEVANT  
**john:** so are we going  
**herc:** I guess so  
**alex:** :D  
**john:** :D  
**alex:** YOU USED AN EMOJI!!  
**john:** D:  
**Laf:** gay  
**john:** shut up you're the gayest one here  
**Laf:** I'm pan and you are literally 100% gay?  
**herc:** ?  
**alex:** they got you beat  
**john:** so it seems  
**herc:** smh I've wasted enough time here I gtg work for a bit  
**Laf:** :(  
**alex:** :(  
**john:** I'm gonna go too  
**alex:** why  
**Laf:** don't leave me  
**alex:** or me  
**Laf:** yeah whatever  
**alex:** :o  
**Laf:** B|  
**alex:** stop bullying me  
**Laf:** :)  
**alex:** I'm leaving  
**Laf:** nooo please I don't want to be alone  
**Laf:** please  
**Laf:** please  
**Laf:** guys  
**Laf:** :(


	2. ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm both sick and hungry so I projected my feelings into this

**Laf:** alex go to bed  
**alex:** what  
**Laf:** I can hear you playing geometry dash go to bed  
**alex:** HOWD YOU KNOW IT WAS ME  
**Laf:** you've been playing that game non stop for a month alexander  
**alex:** you got me there  
**john:** can you guys stop texting and sleep  
**Laf:** I CANT SLEEP WHEN HES DOING THIS  
**herc:** they can't sleep cause we all have guns for hands  
**Laf:** I hate your emo dumbass  
**alex:** ^  
**john:** ^  
**herc:** I'm not emo I'm scene  
**Laf left the group.**  
 **alex added Laf to the group.**  
 **herc:** STOP  
**Laf:** YOU GUYS ARE SO AWFUL  
**john:** I DIDNT DO ANYTHING  
**Laf:** I know this and I love you  
**john:** YOU JUST CALLED ME AWFUL  
**alex:** hang on why am I awful ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ)  
**Laf:** it's two am and you're playing geometry dash so I can't sleep  
**herc:** I was sleeping fine until you woke me up Laf  
**john:** ^  
**alex:** who's really at fault here ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**herc:** if you hadn't been playing geometry dash Laf wouldn't have woken up and none of this would have happened  
**Laf:** HA!  
**alex:** :/  
**john:** weren't we like just about to make an Alex fan club yesterday and today we're yelling at him  
**alex:** yeah you're all bullies  
**herc:** I'm sorry :(  
**Laf:** I'm not  
**alex:** :///////////////  
**john:** please God  
**alex:** our father who art in heaven  
**Laf:** CAN WE ALL GO TO BED  
**herc:** yes  
**alex:** but I'm not tired ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ)ﾟ｡  
**john:** me neither  
**alex:** John wanna hang out  
**john:** does that imply sex or  
**alex:** maybe  
**herc:** JOHN JUST LEFT THE ROOM WHY  
**Laf:** don't hang out without us  
**herc:** come on laf lets go hang  
**alex:** (｡･ω･｡)  
**\----**  
**Laf:** guacamole guac guacamole  
**herc:** hello to you too  
**alex:** Peel the avocado peel the avocado  
**john:** you guys are such memes  
**Laf:** what can you do  
**alex:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**john:** THATS THE ONLY EMOJI YOU EVER USE STOP  
**alex:** um ????? I've used several emojis Jonathan  
**john:** that's not  
**Laf:** don't call my name don't call my name  
**herc:** Jonathan  
**john:** why am I still in this group  
**alex:** cause you love us  
**herc:** you're our beautiful baby boy who can do no wrong  
**john:** I DIDNT ASK  
**Laf:** is he wrong  
**alex:** IM THE BABY BOY  
**herc:** you're small but he's smol  
**alex:** :(  
**Laf:** Alex just got really sad  
**herc:** are you with him  
**Laf:** yes I think you hurt his feelings poor baby  
**herc:** ALEX NO I DIDNT MEAN IT  
**john:** we can all agree that alex is both small and smol  
**Laf:** the smolest  
**herc:** ^  
**Laf:** you know what I'm thinking  
**herc:** MAKEUP SEX  
**john:** we had sex literally like five hours ago  
**herc:** so .. are you in or not  
**john:** is that even a question  
**alex:** oh  
**\----**  
 **alex:** I'm getting sick  
**Laf:** want some soup  
**alex:** yes  
**herc:** ew Alex germs  
**alex:** love me again  
**herc:** I never stopped  
**alex:** ew gay people  
**Laf:** ^  
**herc:** you're dating us  
**alex:** ew commitment  
**john:** stop  
**Laf:** what is going on  
**alex:** IM HUNGRY  
**herc:** MAKE THE SOUP ALREADY  
**Laf:** I AM STOP YELLING  
**alex:** ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽  
**john:** THATS TERRIFYING  
**Laf:** I don't like that  
**herc:** I'm done with this group


	3. Drunk Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets drunk. What could possibly happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I relate to herc a lot in this one because it is _12 am ___

alex: laf: says anything  
me: (ノಠ ∩ಠ)ノ彡( \o°o)\  
herc: okay me  
john: I understand  
Laf: WTF  
alex: (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)  
Laf: tu me fais de mal mon petit lion  
alex: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
herc: I don't understand  
john: they said you hurt me my little lion  
herc: okay I got the last part myself  
john: don't act like I'm the illiterate one here  
herc: HOW AM I ILLITERATE I JUST DONT SPEAK FRENCH  
john: I don't make the rules  
alex: herc: is illiterate  
us: (((￣へ￣井)  
herc: I can't stand bullies  
john: yeah guys stop cyberbullying  
herc: literally the only one not cyberbullying rn other than me is laf you're the worst one here?????  
john: now you're the cyberbully  
herc: I hope I die  
\----  
john: who the hell is Bucky  
herc: stop  
Laf: longing rusted seventeen daybreak furnace nine benign homecoming one freight car  
alex: soldier  
john: ready to comply  
herc:（；¬＿¬)  
\----  
alex: yo b  
alex: they ready  
alex: let's go  
Laf: feelin myself I'm feelin myself I'm feelin my feelin myself I'm feelin myself I'm feelin my feelin my feelin myself I'm feelin myself I'm feelin my feelin myself I'm feelin myself I'm feelin my feelin my  
alex: I'm with some hood girls lookin back at it and a good girl in my tax bracket got a black card that let saks have it these Chanel bags is a bad habit  
herc: it is _two am ___  
\----  
alex: I love you all so much you're so good to me I can't believe I'm dating you three how'd I get so lucky I nEVER THIUGHT I WIULD EVER BE THIS HAPPY AHAIN IB MY LIFE NOT SINCR MY MTLHER DIEF THANK YOU ALL FOTB BEING IN MY LFIE PLRADR DONT LEARC ME  
herc: are you okay  
john: he's drunk don't worry  
Laf: I'm a little worried  
alex: don't worry about me my precious sweet baby angel sugar princess love muffin cinnamon bun  
Laf: I have new blackmail material  
alex: don't blackmail me :( you promised you'd never hurt me my beautiful baby  
Laf: NEFBG I CANT  
herc: IM LAUGHING SO HARD  
alex: I'm glad I can make you guys laugh I love your laughs  
john: he's so cute  
alex: (◦′ᆺ‵◦) ♬° ✧❥✧¸.•*¨*✧♡✧ ℒℴѵℯ ✧♡✧*¨*•.❥  
john: god dammit  
\----  
alex: I'm never drinking again


	4. ＼ (͡°‿ ͡°)7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> introducing tjeff, tmad, and gwash. Alex gets bullied but what else is new

alex: it is 11:31 pm and guess what  
john: what  
alex: I'm still gay as hell  
john: is that time significant or  
alex: dabs  
john: I hate you so much  
\----  
alex: it is 3:27 am and guess what  
Laf: what  
alex: I'm still gay as hell  
Laf: ≖_≖  
\----  
alex: it is 5:42 am and guess what  
herc: what  
alex: I'm still gay as hell  
herc: I could've guessed that I just was hoping you'd say something else  
alex: is there a dabbing emoji  
\----  
alex: it is 7:12 am and guess what  
Laf: yOURE GAY AS HELL  
john: you're gay as hell  
herc:  
alex: ＼ (͡°‿ ͡°)7  
john: I hate this so much  
alex changed their display name to gay as hell.  
gay as hell: ＼ (͡°‿ ͡°)7 ＼ (͡°‿ ͡°)7 ＼ (͡°‿ ͡°)7  
herc: that's such an ugly emoji  
gay as hell: :(( I made it  
Laf: Art  
john: talent  
herc: ugly  
gay as hell changed their display name to die hercules.  
herc: :(  
die hercules: :)  
john: I'm muting this convo  
die hercules: noooo  
john: you're not even gAY  
die hercules changed their display name to die john.  
\----  
Laf: I'm watching Chicago  
die john: and I'm not there ?????  
Laf: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
die john: ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ)ﾟ｡  
Laf: you can join if you change your user  
die john changed their display name to baby.  
Laf: don't lie ??  
baby: IM ?  
baby: OFFENDED?  
herc: he's a baby don't put lies in his head  
baby: ^  
john: I agree  
Laf: jefferson wouldn't treat me like this  
baby: I CANT BELIEVE THIS  
herc: WHAT  
john: DONT JOKE ABOUT THIS .  
Laf: IM NOT JOKING  
\----  
ham: ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MY S/O  
tjeff: which one  
ham: fAIR ENOUGH ??  
ham: LAF  
tjeff: yes  
ham: WHAT  
\----  
hamilton: ARE YOU AWARE YOUR S/O IS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MINE  
tmad: WHAT  
tmad: WHICH ONE  
hamilton: that's fair  
hamilton: LAF  
tmad: don't joke around with me I hate you  
hamilton: :(  
\----  
tjeff: DID YOU TELL MY BOYFRIEND.  
ham: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
tjeff: OH MY GOD??????  
ham: :)))))  
\----  
baby: I TOLD TJEFF AND TMAD THAT YOURE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH TJEFF  
Laf: wHAT  
herc: I CANT BELIEVE THIS  
john: NBEFDHKE  
baby: WAIT  
baby: HE NEVER TOLD ME IF HE WAS JOKINT  
baby: ARE TOU GUYS ACTUALLY  
Laf: NO WTF  
herc: IF TJEFF WANTS TO DIE THEN MAYBE THEY ARE  
john: ^  
baby: ILL FIGHT HIM  
herc: you couldn't bench a shoe Hamilton sit down  
baby: I. DONT. BELIEVE. IT.  
Laf: YOURE LITERALLYNOTHING  
baby: STOP???  
\----  
Alexander: AM I SMALL  
gwashB)): yes  
Alexander: WHAT  
gwashB)): you're very small  
Alexander: IM NOT  
gwashB)): kinda  
Alexander: IM OF AVERAGE HEIGHT  
\----  
baby: I DONT BELIEVE THIS  
Laf: what  
baby: WASH CALLED ME SMALL??  
Laf: you are ??  
baby: NO  
baby: IM GROWN  
Laf: an overgrown child maybe  
baby: ?¿  
john: you are basically invisible  
baby: cellophane mr cellophane should've been my name mr cellophane  
Laf: you never came to watch Chicago with me???  
baby: you started actually cyber bullying me so ??  
Laf: COME HERE DUMBASS  
baby: ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ)ﾟ｡


	5. illiteration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is a cool immigrant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to Sam for believing in me and elliot for coming with me through this journey. I hope my moms proud

baby: LETS GO SEE JUNGLEBOOK!!  
john: !!!!  
Laf: HERC TAKE US  
herc: you guys are all actual children  
\----  
baby: there was no singing 0/10  
Laf: I'm sad  
john: it was still good tho?  
baby: 0  
herc: it had scarjo  
baby: 1/10  
\----  
baby: I'm so gay omg  
Laf: pourquoi  
baby: PARCE QUE I'm dating two men and an nb for one  
baby: for two herc had some photo shoot and he looked good ≖‿≖  
john: okay that emoji is awful ?? and who tf says 'for two'  
herc: yeah? also thanks <3  
Laf: illiterate  
baby: IVE PRACTICALLY READ THE DICTIONARY YOU CANT SPEAK ENGLISH  
Laf: ¡¡¡  
herc: yikes  
john:  
baby: I'm so sorry  
Laf: no you're not  
baby: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
baby: 'how do you say anarchy'  
Laf: I NEVER SAID THAT  
baby: might as well have  
Laf: YOU CAN SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT YOUNG MAN  
herc: BUT  
herc: HES PUDGY HES THE BEST FOR CUDDLING  
baby: YEAH  
Laf: COUCH  
herc: if he gets the couch I get the couch  
john: you guys are so mean to each other  
herc: I think watching civil war got to your heads tbh  
john: I'm black widow  
baby: what, everyone writes you badly and gives you unwanted love interests when in reality all we want is a decent plot and a woman who doesn't need any man but would fuck another woman if given the chance  
john: . yeah,,  
Laf: basically??  
herc: how long have you been thinking about this  
baby: IT DOESNT TAKE MUCH THOUGHT LIKE WHO TF ASKED FOR BRUCENAT ?? NOT ME!! AND THEN UGLY ASS JEREMY RENNER CALLS HER A SLUT JUST BECAUSE THE WRITERS KEEP GIVING HER LOVE INTERESTS SHE dIdNT nEEd iN tHe fIRsT pLAcE!?!!???  
herc: r u ok  
baby: yeah I'm fine you know how it is  
john: this is what a feminist looks like  
baby: actually die  
\----  
Laf: I am an artist  
john: ?????  
herc: you are Art™  
baby: arthoe maybe  
Laf: is today bully Lafayette day or?¿  
baby: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
Laf changed their display name to bullee.  
baby: what  
bullee: it's like bull-ee like I get bullied  
baby: couldn't you just say like . victim or  
bullee: I hate you stop  
baby: see . this is why you're illiterate  
bullee: you probably had to google how to spell illiterate  
baby: you're an immigrant  
bullee: SO ARE YOU HOWS THAT EVEN AN INSULT  
baby: I'm a cool immigrant you're a nerd  
bullee: if I'm a nerd then I'm not illiterate  
baby: hOW  
bullee: nerds are smart I don't make the rules  
baby: nerds can be illiterate just look at herc  
herc: IM AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER WHY BRING ME INTO THIS  
baby: I was getting kind of roasted for a sec I had to pass it on  
bullee: he admits to being roasted  
john: herc is now the roastee  
herc: no  
bullee changed their display name to roaster.  
roaster: change your name to roastee  
herc: I refuse  
herc changed their display name to roastee.  
john: DJJDFN  
baby: wHAT IS GOING ON  
john: I STOLE HIS PHONE  
roastee changed their display name to fuckjohn.  
john: ;)  
fuckjohn: fuck off Johnson no one likes you  
john: JOHNSON.  
baby: OMG  
roastee: I like that  
john: time to write my last will and testament


	6. roast me daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> honestly what is this anymore

roaster: I have to speak french to random people now I hope I die  
fuckjohn: you speak fluent French ??  
roaster: exactly c'est facile  
baby: yeah but shouldn't you enjoy something that easy  
roaster: alex you had to do that and you complained about it all the time  
baby: you got me  
john: + tjeff did it too didnt he  
baby:  
fuckjohn: why'd you say his name  
john added tjeff to the group.  
baby: OH YM DNJD HES LIKE VOLDEMORT YOU SAY HIS NAME AND HE APPEARS  
john: I added him so ??  
baby left the group.  
roaster: it's dat boi!  
tjeff: o shit waddup!  
john added baby to the group.  
baby: if we're adding an Uglie™ to this group we need to add a Beauty™ as well  
john: who  
tjeff: James  
baby: nO  
baby added eeliza to the group.  
john: eeliza  
eeliza: get it like an eel  
eeliza: aNYWAY HI EVERYONE  
baby: me: I've run out of patience. uNDEROOS  
eliza: hEy EvErYoNe!!!!?  
tjeff: shut the fat hell up  
baby: CAN YOU DIE SOON  
tjeff: GLADLY  
john: let's get the whole trash squad here tbh  
eeliza: I think you only want this bc you actually like them  
baby: please no  
eeliza: it's a valid guess  
fuckjohn: idk how to feel he hasn't denied it  
john: lies  
tjeff: are you sure  
baby: DONT QUESTION MY BOYFRIEND ASS  
tjeff: YOU MADE MY BOYFRIEND THINK I WAS CHEATING ON HIM FOR A HOT MINUTE  
john: a hot minute  
eeliza: I love that  
eeliza added angel and two others.  
baby: angle !!  
angel: bayboo!!  
tjeff: !  
angel: fuk u  
tjeff: I WAS TALKING TO MY BF  
tmad: yeah goodness gRACious  
baby: good golly miss molly  
tmad: stop  
fuckjohn: why'd we add them again  
baby: idk the meme team™ is destroyed  
tjeff: you were in it before was it ever really a team  
baby: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY  
tjeff: IM TRYING TO SAY I WANT A TUSSLE  
eeliza: children pls  
andpeggy: ^  
eeliza: peggoo!  
angel: margarita!  
andpeggy: !!!!  
baby: !!!!!¡  
john: lit!  
baby: reunited and it feels so good  
andpeggy: I already want to leave  
baby: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
tjeff: he's so inconsiderate  
baby: I'm going to write an essay on why you are a piece of shit. my thesis is 'when people are pieces of literal shit, you might have to cut that ass off'  
eeliza: so you're gonna have two clauses as well  
baby: yeah the first half will have examples of tjeff being a piece of shit™ and the second half will have examples of me cutting him off and/or times when I SHOULD have cut him off but didn't  
tjeff: I'm honestly surprised you aren't out of my life yet  
baby: who else will I roast the fuck out of  
john: burr  
baby: okay he's not AS BAD as tjeff but he's so boring he's like an English muffin without the butter or poached egg or anything  
john: so a plane English muffin  
john: okay for starters I ducked up and typed plane I'm tired sue me  
john: fucked*  
eeliza: HE DONE DUCKED UP !!  
fuckjohn: PLANE  
john: why do bad things happen to good people  
baby: you're the WORST PEOPLE  
eeliza: rip john  
roaster: this is random but I feel like tjeff says the word neat how u say . not as a joke  
eeliza: that makes sense  
baby: OH TMNTBHSH  
baby: HE PRISBKYK DOEHDB  
john: I can see it  
baby: IM SCREMAKNG  
tjeff: why am I being bullied  
baby: SHUT UP YOU MACARONI FUCKER NO ONE WANTS U HERE  
eeliza: rip again yike  
roaster: I read that as ripe again yeek  
baby: YEEK  
fuckjohn: YEEKS!!!!!  
john: KH MHGF  
eeliza: tag yourself I'm yeek  
tmad: I'm ripe  
roaster: tag yourself I'm washingtons shoulders rn  
tjeff: are you staring at him  
roaster: how u say  
roaster: yah  
baby: YOU SAID IT JUST RIGHT STOP STARING AT OUR BOSS'S SHOULDERS  
roaster: bosss  
eeliza: HEY BOSS CAN I HABE DE PUSSY PLS  
fuckjohn added gwashB)) to the group.  
fuckjohn changed their display name to herc.  
herc: elizas wondering if she can have your pussy  
eeliza left the group.  
roaster change their display name to largebaguette.  
largebaguette added eeliza to the group.  
gwashB)): Do I want to know?  
baby: I'm so sorry sir eliza was just making a joke about something lafayette said and hercules decided to add you to the group.  
herc: okay 1. don't call me Hercules that's so weird wtf and 2. WHAT A RAT !!  
gwashB)): I agree Alexander is such a snake  
eeliza: KEBBDBVVGDDKDNFN  
eeliza: IMGOUNF TO DIE  
largebaguette: MON DIEU  
andpeggy: TAG YOURSELF IM THE SNAKE  
gwashB)): Tag yourself?  
andpeggy: yeah it's a meme where you have a bunch of pictures with little things about them underneath and you 'tag' who u are in the pic based on those things  
andpeggy: so tag yourself  
gwashB)): Tag yourself I'm don't call me Hercules  
baby: I'm getting slain I can't believe it  
herc: tag yourself I'm 'tag yourself I'm don't call me Hercules'  
john: tag yourself I'm 'tag yourself I'm 'tag yourself I'm don't call me Hercules'  
andpeggy: tag yourself I'm 'tag yourself I'm 'tag yourself I'm 'tag yourself I'm don't call me Hercules'  
baby: who can say where the road goes  
angel: can this End  
angel: yeek  
baby: STOP THIS ISNT FUNNY ANYMORE  
tjeff: unlike your sex life  
angel: !!!!!!!! that roast !  
gwashB)): Wow spare him Jefferson!  
john: TAG YOURSELF IM THAT  
andpeggy: I LOVE GWASH  
largebaguette: stop he's mine  
largebaguette: I MEAN  
andpeggy: exposed  
andpeggy: you played yourself  
gwashB)): I don't know how to feel about this.  
baby: please ignore them sir  
john: STOP CALLING HIM SIR  
largebaguette: ^  
baby: SHUT UP LARGE BAGUETTE YOUD CALL HIM DADDY IF YOU COULD  
largebaguette: AT LEAST IM NOT HIS ACTUAL SON  
gwashB)): Who's my son?? Alexander??  
john: yes  
baby: UR NOT MY DAD GO AWAY OR SOMETHING UGLY ASS FUCKING NOODLE HEAD  
gwashB)): Alexander I'd appreciate it if you didn't use that tone with me  
baby: sorry sir but it's a meme  
gwashB)): Oh then apology accepted  
andpeggy: I love teaching gwash about memes  
john: let's make gwash a vine acc  
gwashB)): Vine?  
herc: JEHDBD  
herc: PLEASE DO  
baby: sir please ignore them  
gwashB)): Let them have their fun Alexander  
baby: wow roast me daddy  
baby: I MSAN  
largebaguette: this just in alex just called Washington daddy  
john: I thought I was your daddy  
eeliza left the group.  
tjeff: I'd leave too but I probably wouldn't get added back  
herc added eeliza to the group.  
baby: SHUT UP JEFFERSIN NOW IS NOT THE TIME  
tjeff: okay rude  
gwashB)): I'm going to choose to ignore this  
andpeggy: that's kind of problematic  
baby: KENDBD  
gwashB)): Not as problematic as Alexander calling me daddy  
baby: sir do you know what the word problematic means  
gwashB)): Yes Alexander do you know what the word daddy means?  
angel: Alex is getting slain call him an ambulance stat !  
largebaguette: tag yourself I'm roast me daddy  
herc: me too tbh  
largebaguette: <3  
herc: <3333  
baby: gay  
gwashB)): Alexander you are probably more gay than Hercules is  
eeliza: I'd say rip but it's true and not an insult  
baby: :(  
baby: I see where I stand  
john: as much as I'd love to stay here forever I have to go walk the dog  
herc: hold on  
herc: what dog  
john: I meant go to the store  
herc: NO YOU DIDNT JOHNSON DID YOU BUY A DOG.  
john: NOT AT ALL  
baby: I DONT TRUST THIS  
eeliza: can I babysit !!  
john: of course he's so cute you'll love him!  
john: I MEAN BABYSIT WHO ELIZABETH  
herc: you're getting a strong talking to when you come home young man  
gwashB)): So what I've seen here is that John is Alexander's daddy and Hercules is Johns daddy?  
eeliza: JDJDJ  
andpeggy: I LOVE THIS CONCEPT  
largebaguette: no John and herc are Alex and I's daddies since we're bottoms they're our parents  
andpeggy: CALLING THEM YOUR PARENTS FEELS WORSE  
angel: EXPOSED  
tjeff: I hate this  
tmad: shut up thomas don't act like you don't call me daddy  
baby left the group.  
herc added baby to the group.  
gwashB)): I agree  
john: OKAY I GTG BYE LOVE YOU GUYS  
baby: <333 BYE!!!  
herc: hate to see you go but love to watch you leave ;)  
angel: vomits


	7. the embodiment of >:-T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets bullied aGAIN and laf calls the police??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so late I'm so sorry I've been really busy I have my end of the year exams literally this week forgive me. I should update more regularly now though???? who knows tbh

baby: you know that vine that's like 'chicken wing! ch ch chicken wing!'  
baby: I feel like that's lafayette  
largebaguette: WHY  
baby: BECAUSE YOURE A CHILD WHO DANCES WHILE SOMEONE SPITS A HOT BEAT ABOUT CHICKEN WINGS  
largebaguette: 911 my boyfriend is abusive  
baby: 911 my datefriend is just like that child on vine with the chicken wings  
largebaguette: who can say where the road goes  
herc: I'd say something but I'm gonna let you two work this out  
largebaguette: Hercules dear  
herc: ?  
largebaguette: am I like the chicken wing kid  
herc: kinda  
baby: !!!!!!!!!  
largebaguette left the group.  
herc added largebaguette to the group.  
tjeff: I can see it  
baby: who asked  
tjeff: the one time I'm on your side and you do this  
baby: I don't need u  
baby: please die  
tjeff: I'll keep living in spite of u  
baby: I hate you so much why did John curse this group by adding you  
tjeff: more like blessedt  
baby: I want you dead soon  
baby: Washington am I allowed to kill Jefferson  
gwashB)): I might allow it  
baby: !!!! m  
tjeff: wow roast ME daddy  
largebaguette: no me  
eeliza: what is happening  
baby: gwash is trying to steal my datefriend tbh  
john: who can say where the road goes  
largebaguette: hopefully gwashs road goes into my asshole  
largebaguette: I mean  
gwashB)): I can't see suddenly I don't know  
largebaguette: mes yeux!!!!!! je suis mort!!!!!  
baby: I can't believe it  
herc: tag yourself I'm mes yeux!!!!!!  
baby: tag yourself I'm herc being cute <3  
herc: I didn't do anything  
baby: you're always cute <3  
herc: <3  
tjeff: I really hope I die soon honestly  
john: gay!  
angel: shut up!  
andpeggy: tag yourself I'm gay!  
tmad: I hate this  
\---  
baby: OH YES OH YES OH YES THEY BOTH OH YES THEY BOTH OH YES THEY BOTH REACHED FOR  
tjeff: THE GUN THE GUN THE GUN THE GUN OH YES THEY BOTH REACHED FOR THE GUN FOR THE GUN  
baby: are we bonding  
tjeff: maybe  
baby: vomits  
tjeff: i can't believe this  
john: disgusting  
\----  
largebaguette: lemonade mouth was so good  
baby: I want some of the lemonade they had tbh  
john: BE HEARD  
tjeff: BE STRONG  
tmad: BE PROUD  
john: wow  
baby: the fact that he got her a kitten <3 john buy me a kitten  
john: we already have a dog  
angel: oh yeah ! what did you name it  
baby: her names Lily (๑•́ ω •̀๑)  
andpeggy: THATS SO CUTE  
eeliza: !!! I want !  
angel: I'm taking her  
baby: no she's mine!  
angel: nop  
baby: ¡  
john: she is actually ours legally  
tjeff: I'll sue u for the dog  
angel: burr can be our lawyer  
eeliza: ^  
baby: YOU INSULT ME. IN MY OWN HOME.  
john: none of you are free from sin!  
eeliza: I can't believe you adopted an actual baby!  
baby: um .. I was already there  
herc: yeah .. anyway  
baby: I'm always bullied every single day  
john: every dingle say  
baby: I hate you  
angel: anyway send a pic !  
baby sent a picture.  
angel: that is just a pic of u I want the DOG  
baby: smh  
baby sent a pic.  
andpeggy: SHE! IS! SO! CUTE!  
herc: I love her So much she's Mine  
baby: no we share her she loves all of us  
john: I think she prefers laf though  
largebaguette: oui (๑•́ ω •̀๑)  
angel: I can see that  
eeliza: !! lafayeet is basically a pup already she just likes her own kind  
largebaguette: that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me je t'aime mon pique-nique  
baby: did you just call her a picnic  
largebaguette: oui isn't it cute  
eeliza: I'd say no cause it's really weird but pique-nique is so cute ????  
largebaguette: :)))))  
baby: get your own wife  
largebaguette: I already have john  
john: should I be offended  
largebaguette: no I love u  
john: I love u too :))))  
herc: gay!!!  
john: S T O P  
tjeff: you guys are so homo it's disgusting  
baby: stfu u worthless bottom  
john: you're a bottom  
baby: stop exposing me!!  
tmad: haven't you had sex with everyone in this gc we all know you're a bottom  
baby: omg!! this is sexual harassment and cyber bullying!! I'm calling the police!!  
tjeff: do it I dare you  
baby: 911 help I'm being exposed as a bottom and I did NOT sign up for this  
john: IM JUST IMAGINING YOU ACTUALLY CALLING THE POLICE DNFJFN  
herc: theyd hang up  
largebaguette: I'm gonna call them  
john: Laf no  
largebaguette: laf yes  
baby: laf nO  
largebaguette: laf yES!!!!!!  
tjeff: someone take their phone this is awful we're all gonna be put in jail bc we're witnesses  
tmad: I'm too young for prison  
baby: you could be my DAD  
herc: too late I'm already your dad  
baby left the group.  
john added baby to the group.  
baby: IVE BEEN EXPOSED AGAIN  
largebaguette: I CALLED THEM  
john: N O  
largebaguette: Y E S  
baby: LAF WE ARE AT wORK WE COULD ACTUALLY GET IN TROUBLE  
largebaguette: ITS FINE THEY HUNG UP  
john: DID THEY SAY ANYTHING ??? WHAT HAPPENED  
largebaguette: OKAY SO I called them and they were like '911 what's your emergency' so I said that I was being cyber bullied and they were already like ?? sir this is for emergencies not texts unless ur dying please don't call us. and I was already angry because they misgenDERED ME even though they had no way of knowing ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ minor detail. so I was like 'I'm being cyberbullied aGAIN' and I feel like the woman was just . exasperated she probably thought I was a teenager and not in my late twenties. she was kind of like the embodiment of >:-T aND IT WAS SO FUNNY so I was like I've been exposed as a bottom online and she just hung up  
baby: THE EMBODIMENT OF >:-T  
largebaguette: SHE W A S  
john: IM CACKLING  
herc: GOOD JOB WE'RE ALL GONNA GET FIRED NOW !! WAY 2 GO  
eeliza: I had NOTHING to do with this I am a CHILD I've done NO WRONG EVER in my LIFE  
baby: ik I love u best of wives  
eeliza: <3333  
john: we've been replaced


	8. D'Accord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> laf and Alex get into a fight (technically but dw it's not big) and laf gets billed for being stupid

largebaguette added herc and two others to the group.  
largebaguette renamed the group the meme team™ pt. 2  
largebaguette: AAAAAAAAAA  
herc:  
baby:  
john: are you alright  
largebaguette: LONG DICK STYLE  
herc: you are literally . the worst  
baby: why'd you make this group  
largebaguette: AAAAA  
john: I thought they made this to talk to us privately sometimes but now I genuinely think there's something wrong???????  
largebaguette: je t'aime  
john: back at u  
baby: you're so rude tbh  
largebaguette: also I made this group so that we could talk privately yes but also . I got a bill in the mail???  
largebaguette: and I thought it'd be fine after the 911 call but apparently not  
john: great what'd it say  
baby: oh dear  
largebaguette: basically I have to pay 100 dollars for disturbing them ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
herc: tfw you told everyone it was a bad idea and they did it anyways resulting in them getting into actual legal trouble  
largebaguette: shut the hell up Hercules you didn't stop shit  
baby: c o o l i t  
largebaguette: n o  
john: I hate this  
\---  
the meme team™  
john: LAF GOT INTO LEGAL TROUBLE BC OF THE PHONE CALL  
largebaguette: wow tell everyone why don't u  
baby: he just did  
gwashB)): Good job, Lafayette. I'm going to choose to ignore this but if this affects us at all you'll have me to talk to  
largebaguette: I'm so sorry  
baby: no you're not  
largebaguette: not really but  
largebaguette: it's the thought that counts  
john: sigh  
herc: I don't know why I expected anything else let's be honest  
angel: I can't believe this tbh  
eeliza: you guys are so . awful  
andpeggy: smh  
largebaguette: I UNDERSTAND STOP YELLING AT ME  
tjeff: literally no one is yelling  
largebaguette: F I G H T M E  
tmad: let's all calm down okay  
largebaguette: NO ITS NOT OKAY FUCK YOU GUYS YOU DONT SUPPORT ME  
john: I  
baby: it's okay everyone it's cool  
herc: are you actually okay laf  
john: ????  
eeliza: I think you actually hurt their feelings guys  
baby: I love you my best of wives but you said something too ?  
john: none of you are free from sin  
largebaguette: I came here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now  
herc: the kardashians aren't real  
baby: can we focus on lafayette right now  
herc: this is serious wtf  
baby: I don't doubt it but  
john: I'm intrigued  
herc: okay so they're actually a part of a government ploy to keep us distracted  
eeliza: I??  
herc: it makes perfect sense think about it what other reason would they be here for  
baby: and bush did 9/11  
john: 9/9, 9/10, BUSH, 9/12  
baby: ٩(⌯꒦ິ̆ᵔ꒦ິ)۶ᵒᵐᵍᵎᵎᵎ  
herc: tag yourself I'm ᵒᵐᵍᵎᵎᵎ  
eeliza: I'm BUSH  
largebaguette: tag yourself! I'm being pushed down by the law for being gay  
baby: hun literally no one is pushing you down we all love you  
largebaguette: I was talking about the law alexander  
eeliza: laf did you tell the law that you're gay  
largebaguette: no but I've been told that I sound gay  
baby: YOU CANT 'SOUND GAY' BEING GAY SIMPLY MEANS YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO THE SAME SEX YOU PHYSICALLY CANNOT SOUND GAY I APOLOGIZE FOR YELLING BUT JOHN IS GAY HE DOESNT SOUND GAY  
eeliza: okay step 1. cool down. step 2. repeat step one  
largebaguette: I feel really attacked today can we go back to bullying alex pls  
baby: die  
baby: I'm jk I love you so so so much je t'aime mon amour mon petit chien  
largebaguette: d'accord  
baby: .  
john: that's it  
largebaguette:  
baby: JFJDJR WHATD THTHRBMF FJJEN  
largebaguette: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
herc: I  
eeliza: 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> d'accord - okay  
> je t'aime - I love you  
> mon amour - my love  
> mon petit chien - my little dog (wtf Alex)


	9. boom roasted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they all get roasted once again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry for not updating i'm awful. i hope i'll start updating regularly again now that schools back and i have more of a schedule! ♡

baby: lily 8 my shoes  
herc: 8  
largebaguette: pourquoi  
baby: . IDK HOW WOULD I KNOW  
herc: chill  
largebaguette: he finna bust a nut!!¡!  
baby: KDNFNFNF  
herc: ᵒᵐᵍᵎᵎᵎ  
largebaguette: why'd i say that tbh  
baby: IM LAUGHING  
baby: BUST A NUTJDJFFJ  
largebaguette: STOP LAUGHING AT ME???? I WAS TRYING TO TALK LIKE THE COOL AMERICANS DO  
baby: you aren't american filthy immigrant i'm gonna build a wall through the entire ocean so you frenchys can't get out!!!!!  
herc:  
largebaguette:  
herc: that sounded like some pent up problems u have are you okay  
baby: ٩(•̤̀ᵕ•̤́๑)ᵒᵏᵎᵎᵎᵎ  
largebaguette: i'd be offended but that's so cute  
largebaguette: the ᵒᵏᵎᵎᵎᵎ  
baby: ♡  
largebaguette: ♡  
herc: ♡  
tjeff: gay  
\---  
john: i just realized why is madison's display name tmad? your name is james????  
tmad: it's cute bc we match  
baby: i need a vom emoji  
john: me 2  
tjeff: your name is baby . you're the cringey one here ugli   
baby: thems fightin words   
tjeff: square up  
herc: wow he finna bust a nut!  
largebaguette: who'd have thought that i, a poor french person in need of love and support, would face constant cyberbullying on a near day to day basis? i have only loved and supported my friends as i previously said was all i needed, but alas, they betray me with their wicked ways  
herc: ok calm tf down billy shakes  
baby: BILLY SHAKES  
john: who says alas nowadays  
largebaguette: WHO SAYS NOWADAYS YOU PETIT QUEUE  
baby: F I N I S H ⠀⠀ H I M  
john: you didn't call it tiny last night ;;;)))  
largebaguette: i hate this gc why am i still here  
baby: we're too good for this .  
largebaguette: mmmmm not u  
largebaguette: me yes, you no  
herc: BOOM ROASTED  
baby: :////////////:  
largebaguette: eye heart ewe  
baby: was it too difficult for you to actually say that you loved me  
largebaguette: how you say  
largebaguette: oui  
herc: WE DONT SAY THAT  
tjeff: maybe you don't you filthy american  
herc: YOU ARE AMERICAN!!!!!!! YOUVE BEEN TO FRANCE TWICE AND ALL YOU DID WAS FUCK A BOWL OF PASTA!   
baby: slay him!!!! roast him!!!!!! finish him!!!!!  
tjeff: i am a poor worthless sinner


	10. Who's Going On The Trip?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (in our favourite rocket ship)

baby: call me adam sandler hamilton

herc: done. 

largebaguette: how you say

largebaguette: i fucking hate you you worthless shit

baby: worthless shit who

largebaguette: adam

baby:

largebaguette: sandler

baby: :)

john: wtf adam sandler (;))

baby: it's who i am (;))

eeliza: im gonna call u bernie sanders hamilton

baby: rip bernie :///

herc: i miss him

john: he lives on in my heart

largebaguette: you filthy americans could've had it all smh

baby: ITS NOT OUR FAULT IM PRETTY SURE THIS WHOLE GROUP VOTED FOR BERNIE

tjeff: ....

herc: yikes............

baby:

john: well

baby: john. 

john: yes adam

baby: why'd you curse this group. 

john: what

baby: why did you add satan to the group

baby: IM A CHRISTIAN

largebaguette: how u say

largebaguette: you're not

baby: STOP BULLYING ME ALL YOU GUYS DO IS B U L L Y

largebarguette: i'm sorry ://

baby: HOW U SAY!!

baby: YOURE NOT!!

herc: !! boom roasted!

largebaguette: lmao time for me to die i guess

baby: pack ur bags ur movin out!!!

largebaguette: bye guys it's been fun!!! gotta blast!

herc: NDBDBD THEY JUST STARTED PACKING SOME SHIT IN A BAG WHAY ARE TOU DOINGNRTB

largebaguette: packing my bags as i'm not wanted here

baby: WTF STOP IM IN LOVE WITH YOU

largebaguette: okay but fr i have to go on a trip this weekend to france for some business thing .

baby: ,,,,,wow

baby: just

baby: wow

john: wtf :((((

herc: wtf when are you going

largebaguette: tomorrow morning..

baby: U DIDNT TELL US UNTIL NOW!!!!

largebaguette: IM SORRY I FELT BAD!!!

largebaguette: but i can bring one other person with me??

baby: me

john: um ...... how about me instead fuck you

herc: i'll fight u guys

baby: i'm gonna fight for their honour tf!!

largebaguette: hairflip

tjeff: what about me

baby: H A

john: H A H A

herc: H A H A H A

largebaguette: deal

baby:

john:

herc:

jmad: what .

tjeff: oh okay i was joking but i haven't gone in a while anyways

baby: can you actually die .

john: WTF LAF !!

herc: YOULL PICK MACARONI MAN OVER ME!!

baby: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine but you're not really fine 

john: this is so saaaaad i'm gonna miss them

largebaguette: relax i'll be home sunday night

john: THATS T H R E E W H O L E D A Y S!!!!

largebaguette: YOULL SURVIVE

baby: i'll die without you

baby: what if i stab myself accidentally 

herc: yeah then what

john: what if i stab alex then what .

baby: YEAH

baby: hypothetically tho right??

john: ,,yeah...

baby: wow i bet you guys are planning out my murder . this is why i have to go w you laf

largebaguette: i have made up my mind already no offence

jmad: i'm so shook rn

tjeff: i gotta pack my shit

baby: i hope you get some sort of disease while there and laf has to leave u at the hospital . fat

jmad: don't call him fat ://

herc: yeah pls no fat shaming !!

baby: i meant his personality is fat. like calling someone blatantly attractive ugly bc of how they act

john: oh yeah :)) who r u staring at that's blatantly attractive yet ugly sweaty :))

baby: you

john: .

john has left the group.

herc: GDFGBB

herc added john to the group.

john: YOU COME HERE

baby: oh no

john: IN MY OWN HOME!!!!

john: AND DISRESPECT ME!!!!!!!!

baby: technically all four of us own the house 

john: MHM!!!!

john: NOT FOR LONG!!!

john: HAVE FUN CAUSE UR SHITS GOING TO GOODWILL!!

baby: WTF IM GONNA HAVE TO REMAKE THE THRIFT SHOP VIDEO

baby: CAN YOU STOP THIS

john: YOU CALLED ME U G L Y

baby: YOURE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN IVE EVER MET WITH THE MOST AMAZING PERSONALITY KNOWN ON THIS EARTH

john: :)

herc: um??

largebaguette: UM??

baby: shut up you aren't even a boy

largebaguette: true :)))

herc: UM!!!

baby: anyway here's wonderwall

herc: TIME TO DIE


	11. shrek: the musical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laf and Alex stay home to watch a shitty movie and wind up having a great time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright i know this was supposed to be a college au but it's just not working so ignore anything abt that up until this point pls

largebaguette: SINCE WHEN DID THEY ADD SHREK THE MUSICAL TO NETFLIX

baby: WHAT

baby: TONY AWARD WINNING SHREK THE MUSICAL

largebaguette: YES!!!! CAN WE SKIP WORK TODAY

baby: OBVIOUSLY!!!!

john: . i can't believe you're skipping work to watch a musical about shrek

largebaguette: .......

baby: so she said

largebaguette: what's the problem baby

baby: what's the problem i don't know

largebaguette: well baby i'm in love

tjeff: LOVE

baby: THINK ABOUT IT EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT

largebaguette: CANT STOP THINKING BOUT IT

john: END THIS SUFFERING

largebaguette: at least we didn't sing the obvious one

john: what's the obvious one

herc: sighs

baby: some

largebaguette: BODY

baby: ONCE

largebaguette: TOLD ME

baby: THE WORLD

largebaguette: IS GONNA ROLL ME

tjeff: I AINT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED

john: why are you HERE EVEN

tjeff: to contribute???? obviously???

john: CONTRIBUTE WHAT A STRAIN ON MY RELATIONSHIP????

jmad: oh shit they got you

tjeff: if your relationship is so unstable that me singing a song by smash mouth really strains it then ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

jmad: OH SHIT HE GOT YOU

largebaguette: darn

herc: heck

baby: heck

largebaguette: oh heck

baby: i'm gonna tell gwash we won't be at work today

largebaguette: okay

\---

baby: GWASH

gwash: what is it hamilton

baby: laf and i both woke up with the flu today and aren't gonna be able to come into work today :///

gwash: i'm just gonna go on a limb here and ask if this has to do with netflix adding shrek: the musical half an hour ago

baby: uuuuuuuhuuuhhhhhhh

\---

gwash: lafayette, hamilton, you may stay home today, but only because neither of you have missed work so far yet this year and don't have any work that needs doing right this moment

largebaguette: THANKS DADDY

baby: OH MY GOD STOP

gwash: i'll ignore that

herc: z a m n d a d d y

largebaguette: ZAAAAAAAMNNN DADDY

john: :///////

baby: i hate this :(

john: at least you don't have to work today

baby: I FORGOT OMG ZAMN

largebaguette: ZAAAAMN

\---

largebaguette: was that ...... a transphobic joke.... in shrek the musical..........

largebaguette: is nowhere safe

baby: i feel gross :////

john: wait really what did they say???

largebaguette: they used a tr***y slur :/// i don't even wanna read the word

john: ew omg :((( i'm sorry

herc: i'm sorry babiee

largebaguette: it's okay just kind of ://// like this is a kids musical wtf is a slur doing in it

baby: yeah idk :///

largebaguette: anyway let's keep watching

baby: if you're sure?

largebaguette: yeah i am let's go

baby: okay :///

\---

baby: 5/10 not missing work worthy

largebaguette: i agree

largebaguette: you had me at the name shrek the musical, you lost me at the transphobia

baby: agreed

john: i can't believe that you got to miss work but were still somehow disappointed

herc: this is such a sad day nobody is safe from the slurs

largebaguette: sigh

baby: on another note we still have like five hours until anyone's coming home,,,,, can we watch the true and beautiful shrek 

largebaguette: UHM HOW U SAY 

largebaguette: YA

\---

baby: when shrek 2 first came out i was in a really bad place in my life and i actually cried a lot

baby: like i know it wasn't really from the movie but i like to believe that shrek 2 made me that emotional

john: wtf now i'm sad

largebaguette: the fact that you're still not in the best place and are unhappy a lot makes me so upset :///

baby: but i'm getting so much better!!!!! being constantly surrounded by people that i know for sure love me really really helps

herc: i'm glad we help we love you soso much

largebaguette: yes!!!!!!

john: i love you so much !!!!!!

baby: i love u guys too!!!!!

baby: okay back to shrek

\---

baby: we can probably started shrek the third but won't finish it

john: how about we as in when i pick up herc can go get chinese and can watch the end of shrek the third together and then the fourth one too

herc: yeah have a shrek party :))))

largebaguette: yes pls!!!!

baby: i love our impromptu date nights

\---

herc sent a photo: shrekcups.png

baby: BUY THEM

herc: ALREADY DID

largebaguette: THIS IS SUCH A NICE DAY!!!!!

john: i can't believe this .... we go to buy milk and some coke and get this

baby: it's a sign from the gods

herc: OMG NAPKINS

john: u g h

\---

john: WE'RE OUTSIDE HELP WITH THE FOOD + GROCERIES!!!!

largebaguette: COMING!!!!

baby: AAA!!

herc: IM EXCITED!!

baby: me too this feels so liberating

john: in what way

baby: in the way that i miss work to watch a shitty musical and wind up having a beautiful date night with the loves of my life. it's like the american revolution all over again

largebaguette: that analogy was perfect

baby: how you say

baby: analogy

largebaguette: don't make fun of me

john: they had to ask me if analogy was the right word

baby: AWWWW ♡

largebaguette: ugh

\---

herc: i love justin timberlake 

john: ik he's actually really good in this???

herc: its wild

baby: what a nice date night :)))) who's ready for bed

largebaguette: me

herc: me

john: me dear god

baby: !!! okay let's gooooooo


End file.
